“Once a wise man was asked…
What is the meaning of life?
He replied…Life itself has no meaning,
Life is an opportunity
to create meaning…”
Anonymous
We are not meant to be stagnant. We are not meant to remain the same. We are meant to grow, and the only way to do that is to allow ourselves to continually learn – mentally, physically, and emotionally.
The moment you stop learning, you stop growing, and you enter a perpetual existence. This stagnation can be dangerous. For many, that “safety” of the known and familiar is all they need, and although it may seem like it works, it doesn’t. There’s a saying in Hindi, “Khali dimag shetaan ka ghar hai”. It means an empty mind or, more practically applied, a mind given the time to wander is the home of the devil. Whether you believe in the devil or not is not the point.
The point is that when people enter a state of consistency founded on their ideal of having achieved all they needed to, they become arrogant. After not being challenged or focused on working through something, these people presume success and knowledge of how life should be because of their own perceived success in it. Additionally, the mind then finds things to obsess over or tends to make scenarios or issues where there aren’t any because it has the time to overthink.
By constantly striving to learn, in whichever way works best for you, you are giving you mind something to work with and through. Thereby, you are avoiding that perpetual state of empty or foregone thoughts. Not only that, but you are also gifting yourself growth and potential.
When we push past our limits and grow, we create opportunities in our lives. We either open doors through that growth or are well-prepared when opportunity comes knocking. Without that growth we would be unprepared and would pass up those opportunities, giving way to regret in our lives.
So find something that makes you want to learn and grow. Find what you derive passion from and makes you not rest in comfort but get excited for endless possibilities.
How to keep learning:
1. Absorb knowledge your way.
Whether it’s reading, watching, listening, or doing, find the method that you learn best from. Use that to continually learn new things or to push your mind and body to think and work in new ways.
2. Avoid complacency.
Create a life around doing. Karma literally means action. You must take action to create any sort of karma in your life to reap from. Doing so also avoids the black hole of empty thoughts.
3. Never think you know it all.
The greatest failures and levels of arrogance come from thinking we have reached the peak of knowledge and success, and from the belief that there is nothing more to learn. There is always something more to learn or more room to grow. Humble yourself in the knowledge that there is always something interesting on the next page if you’re open to turning it.
Bethe hue soch the hain
Kya karna hai yaar
Na karne mein hai mazaa
Karke kya fayada
Par saalon baad yeh lagne laga
Ke kash kuch kara hota
Apne aap ko badake
Uss gali mein na poncha hota
– Akiti –
“Life takes you down many paths,
but my favorite ones lead to the beach.”
Anonymous
The July 4th weekend is one of my FAVORITE weekends because the weather is outstanding (usually) and it come with dedicated time away from work for a full 4 days to just regroup, travel, BBQ by the pool, and remember to enjoy life before the second half of the year begins.
What I’m most excited by is usually the BBQ meals, but also the outfits! Since July 4th memorializes the day we (the United States of America) gained independence from England. It’s one of my favorite eras to read on because I’m fascinated by the development of the country from that point onwards. Although this week is also a very important fashion weekend!
This is the weekend that true summer-wear comes out to enjoy the sun and we can enjoy summer amenities like beaches and pools. To truly enjoy those amenities, you need to be both comfortable and practical.
I pulled together 4 looks that you can try this weekend to get into theme to celebrate while still being beachy-comfortable! Check out the looks and my 4 tips for getting these looks.
Look 1
Look 2
Look 3
Look 4
4 Ways to Get these July 4th Looks
1. Light fabrics
The summer heat requires clothing with coverage without the weight. Pick light fabrics like cotton, chiffon, or georgette for breathability. Even if they cover more of your skin, they won’t feel constricting in the heat.
2. Easy-on shoes
Your feet need to enjoy the summer, too! Pick foot accessories that are easy to put on or take off for summer/beach activities, but also don’t pinch or feel too tight. The key is to ensure it’s functional yet stylishly comfortable.
3. Protective makeup look
ALWAYS wear protection. Whether it’s sunscreen directly, tinted moisturizer with strong SPF, and or foundation with strong SPF – you must have on what suits you to protect your skin from the UV rays.
4. American Flag Colors (Of course!)
After all, this weekend is in celebration of the declaration of the United States’ independence from England, so pick outfits that fit the theme. Red, white, and/or blue are must haves at some point this weekend!
Enjoy!
“In a world full of trends, sometimes a girl
Shilpa Ahuja
just wants to wear something classic.”
There’s nothing that makes me feel more like a Bollywood girl than a churidar!
A churidar is an Indian suit, and we mostly refer to it just as a suit. Similar to a suit, it has it’s particular identifiers the way a Western suit does. Instead of a blazer and trousers, we have a fitted pajama (the pants), shirt (long or short), and chunni (the longer cloth similar to a scarf).
How to Pick a Comfortable Churidar
1. Check the pajama
The pajama is meant to be fitted up to the knees with ruching at the ankles. Make sure the foot hole easily glides over your foot and still sits fitted. This is also possible if there are hooks or buttons around the ankle area to make it fitted after wearing it. If there aren’t, ask for them!
2. Check the nada
Nada = the string to tie the pants at your waist
If you’re buying ready-made, make sure the nada is either cotton or rope. They hold better than other fabrics. If you’re getting it made, just give your waist size and get an elastic waist band!
3. Avoid the sleeve droop!
The #1 problem with suit tops is usually that the sleeves/straps start sliding off your shoulder. To avoid this, look at how the sleeve line is cut/sewn. It should create a scoop shape from your underarm towards where your collarbone meets your shoulder. If it swings towards the shoulder it will definitely droop!
The Look
For summer, I love a pastel or light colored suit made of shiffon or georgette. This one from Polki-Dolki is georgette with delicate gold embroidery, making it light and breezy in the summer heat. I absolutely LOVE that it has string straps that look graceful while letting my arms breathe. The super light chunni is absolutely stunning to me because the fabric let’s it hug my body and looks graceful the way it flows.
The Accessories
To maintain the light look, I chose to highlight the delicate gold embroidery with a gold purse and stilettos, also from Polki-Dolki. The purse was a magical find because it is gold netted, matching the design on the shirt and chunni. The stilettos are satin bound with a subtle swarovski touch on the straps. It’s just enough to highlight the look without overbearing it.
Not everyone has the ability to celebrate these holidays in the way that nuclear families do. In the age of modern families, we have parent-less families, blended families, and family-less individuals, we must be mindful that these groups view this day very differently.
It is time we make the shift away from the model of the nuclear family and fully embrace the beauty of modern families and how they celebrate each other. If we do not, we continue to make the mistake of forcing the importance of having a mother or father in one’s life, or making the loss of either further apparent. This is not to say that those who do have parents should feel bad about celebrating theirs, but they should not expect the same of people who may have different parental figures or be estranged from theirs.
Imagine trying to push someone estranged from their father, when that child has grown up in a world where their father figure has been abusing them and their family. You cannot expect a child to respect that father, and you have no right to. A mother is often deemed as the one individual a child should always be able to go to or have in their life, but there are many children who have abusive mothers who constantly gaslight them or push them to be something they are not. That mother, in the eyes of the child, may not deserve that respect any longer, and that is for that child to decide. Not you.
So on this Father’s Day I implore you to celebrate in the way that works for your definition of a family, and to never impose your definition on another.
A Family is a group of people
That support you in every way
That love you for you alone
Not expecting you any other way
If your Family doesn’t look
Like the typical view of Family
That’s okay, and that’s right
Accept your version gladly
Do not push others
To have a Family like yours
Or judge how one’s Family operates
It is not your place to impose
Because a Family is just a crew
Even if it’s the one you choose
With people who respect you
And who celebrate your every move
– Akiti –
“Clothing is ultimately the suit of armor in which we battle the world”
Sophia Amoruso, #Girlboss
Founder of NastyGAl & Girlboss media
I require my armor to exude the fierceness it rests on, and a suit does just that.
There is something so fierce about the way a suit is structured that brings with it a confidence like no other outfit does. I’ve worn many a suit in my years in corporate, and my favorite part of a suit is finding ways to make it fabulous!
When people think of suits, they tend to associate it with hues of black, blue, and grey with button downs and stiffness. When I think of a suit, I associate it with broad shoulders, tailored waists, and confidence. Perception defines so much of how we choose things in this world, and I’m here to change your perception of a suit so you find ways to choose it for summer! Making a suit summer fabulous can entail anything from selecting non-conformant colors to adding dashing accessories or, my personal favorite, changing the style of the jacket.
3 Tips for Suiting Up in Summer
1. Pick light fabrics
Not just the colors, but the fabric itself! It’s important that it feels light and breathable to be sustainable in the heat, but provides enough coverage for those cool summer breezes.
2. Swap out the button-down
Keep the button-downs for the more business looks. For summer fabulousness, you’ll want to go with something that accentuates you with deep neck tanks, bandeaus, bralettes, or corsets.
3. Let there be arms!
Jackets are still jackets if you adjust the sleeves. Try jackets with short sleeves, quarter sleeves, split sleeves, or even sheer sleeves! As long as it maintains the suit structure along your torso, your arms can have some fun and be free in the summer sun.
The Look
I’ve chosen a cyan colored suit with a long jacket, adorned with metallic buttons, and topped off with an accentuating bow at the neckline. The trousers are ankle-length and high-waisted, with a body-gripping skinny fit. What I love about this suit is that it is both structured, yet light. This is thanks to the cotton-polyester blend that allows it to maintain the suit shape while granting mobility with it’s stretchiness. With its quarter-length sleeves and ankle-length trousers, it holds the conservative appeal of a suit without the heaviness of traditional suit stitching, thick layers, and coverage. It is also very breathable thanks to the cotton – making it perfect for summer!
The cyan shade, although light, paired with the metallic grey buttons can sometimes dull out the look. This is where it’s important to play more with the contrast to highlight both colors. To make the cyan stand out, I chose a dark grey bandeau that closely matches the metallic grey, but is plain enough to not take away from it. As a result, the cyan of the jacket stands out when it falls over the bandeau, while still guiding your eyes to the grey accents. The bandeau also serves as a simple top under the jacket, leaving some space above the high-waisted trousers, to bring some classy sass to this look.
I am a huge fan of the trousers because they are extremely comfortable and the fabric beautifully hugs one’s body. It truly follows your curves thanks to the fitting, but doesn’t feel restricting because of how it stretches. High-waist bottoms always elongate one’s legs, which works great with the length of the jacket. With the bow at the top of the jacket, the suit creates leading lines against your body, which are great for pictures!
The Accessories
Since the trousers taper at the ankles, I paired them with metallic pumps from Nicole Miller to allow my ankles to be free – continuing the appearance of longer legs (not that mine need help in that department!). I am very particular about matching because a consistent looks feels complete, so the metallic patent leather of the pumps are perfect since they literally look like they were made for the buttons! I could not have found a better match! Heels also help with posture, which in a fitted suit, such as this, is key. I also just prefer my suits with heels because they align so perfectly with the confidence a suit gives me.
Since the suit overall is so heavy on the cyan, I continued the dark grey accent with my Michael Kors leather purse. It is adorned with a silver-tone hardware for the logo and accents, which again work brilliantly with the metallic theme. Held against the suit, it forces the cyan to standout whilst breaking it up with the grey in a perfect contrast throughout the look.
“Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people; but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.
To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
E. E. Cummings
What does it mean to feel?
What does it mean to experience something as yourself and not as per the influence of others on “how” you should feel?
We feel when we let ourselves be. When we truly allow our mind and body to react as they do, not as we think they ought to. Our thoughts and perceptions are molded by our environment — by the people we grow up watching, the people we interact with, the people that raise us, directly or indirectly. Not everyone is cognizant of this influence, but there are those of us who can pinpoint exactly where certain phrases, hand movements, facial expressions, style of laugh, style of smile, or body language have been picked up from. Thus, most of those are learned behaviors, unlike that of feelings.
Although many people are unfortunate enough to be told how they should feel in certain scenarios or society tries to dictate how one “should” feel to be considered as having an “appropriate” reaction to an occurrence, this is not how feelings operate. How you feel about something comes from within you in the form of an involuntary reaction to the situation. How you truly feel about something is your first reaction to it. Not the reaction afterwards where you recalibrate what is expected of you in that moment, but rather the reaction you naturally respond with.
To accept who you are and how you respond to the world, without the influence of perceptions and thoughts, is your acknowledgement of nobody-but-yourself. Society would like nothing more than for you to forego this acknowledgement and bend to the “norms” it or the infamous they have defined as appropriate. But to live and to breathe as nobody-but-yourself is the greatest feat of them all. It’s not an easy one, anyone who’s done so or is doing so can vouch for this, but to live as oneself, for oneself, and in spite of the world’s assault against it, is one of the most admirable achievements in life.
Thank you, Sushant, for showing the world how beautiful a soul can be when it is nobody-but-itself.
In honor of Sushant Singh Rajput, the late Bollywood actor and brilliant mind, on the anniversary of his passing, and for the loss of such a beautiful soul.
To be oneself
And no one else
Is a feat itself
Among all else
The world attempts
Day in and out
To make you change
What you’re about
Oh what strength
If in all that
You remain you
One can respect that
– Akiti –
“I enjoy the saree. I think it’s the sexiest garment ever. It shows you the right amount, it covers the right amount, it’s extremely versatile, it suits every body type, it suits every face.”
Vidya Balan, Award-Winning Bollywood Actress
A saree is a paradox in cloth form. Its versatility as Bollywood actress Vidya Balan so aptly describes, comes from its ability to be what the desired wearer needs it to be. It has the beauty and grace of the culture of India, all within yards of woven cloth, and part of the beauty of both is that they are adaptable to the regions and their people.
The Look
Here we have a Kanjivaram or Kanchipuram saree, traditionally woven in Tamil Nadu, India. The saree is woven from pure mulberry silk thread and paired with zari, fine gold thread.
On the saree spectrum, Kanjivarams are definitely one of my favorites because there is something so beautiful about this particular weaving. The level of grace I feel in these sarees also make it perfect for formal events, in this case my best friend’s Walima. The silk and zari combo brings a shine to the fabric that stands out in person and in pictures, and so with this particular blue, I felt it perfect for a beautiful spring wedding event!
This saree, from our Polki-Dolki collection (coming soon!) features a typical wide border that runs the length of the saree and a heavier pallu, or mundhi – the larger design at the end of the saree. I love the way the weaving features small petals throughout the blue with gold booties or motifs breaking up the color and adding some depth to the design. The gold majority of the pallu helps it stand out when draped over one’s arm, creating a complimentary contrast in the design. I’m a huge fan of the umbi designs on the pallu because they flow well with the floral theme of the saree and the design itself is traditional in essence.
The blouse of traditional sarees are usually adorned with the same border designs and booties so that one may get it made to match the full look. I prefer to customize my blouses to add a bit of a flare to the saree alongside the graceful borders. My mother actually designed this particular blouse by keeping the original saree blouse cloth for the bust area, sleeves, and lower back, but added an embroidered, cutwork design to cover and accentuate the back. The yellow birds add a pop of color as well to make the cutwork stand out and aptly break up the way the gold somewhat blends with my lighter skin tone. We chose mega sleeves because they work well with this fabric, look, and size of the accent borders. The front of the blouse was kept plain so that the beauty of the zari saree border would maintain as it is draped across it.
The Accessories
I wanted the saree to be the focal point of the look, so even though it was my best friend’s wedding event, where one typically wears their heaviest outfits and jewelry, I went for more accent accessories than a large jewelry set. For my particular face structure and personality, chand balis have always been a favorite, so here I wore gold chand balis from Harsahaimal Shiamlal Jewellers in Moradabad, India adorned with diamonds, pearls, and semi-precious turquoise stones throughout. The hint of white from the pearls brightens the look, while the size of the stones maintain the delicacy of the outfit so as not to embolden it.
To continue with the gol (rounded) theme that stems from the floral designs in the saree and now the balis, I added a diamond and gold tikka from The Pink Bazaar. This was a brilliant find at one of their pop-up shops in New York City, and has been my go-to tikka for a variety of my desi wear. The delicate tear drop shape and smaller drops off the edge matched perfectly with the umbi design of the saree’s pallu and the droplets of my earrings.
When I chose this saree, I wanted to ensure I had two key elements in my outfit: maintain the tradition look but accentuate with modernity. To maintain the traditional aspect, I kept my hair in a non-elaborate updo with a low bun, very typical of South Indian looks with sarees (hair by Salon Simran in Dayton, NJ). To add to the modernity, I added synthetic fabric flowers that matched the antique gold and white accents of my look, instead of the usual gajras one would wear with this saree. Finally, to close out the traditional look, I coordinated a 5-inch set of chudiyan that matched my colors as a large set of chudiyan add to the look without overbearing it.
This look is perfect for any formal event, especially if it’s a traditional one like a pooja, wedding, or more conservative occasion. The hint of modernity allows you to align with the traditional with a bit of flare – adding to the beautiful paradox!
This year’s Memorial Day goal was to relax and take a breath before the beautiful summer begins. With a focus on errands and recharging for the week, I was not focused on hair or makeup, but rather enjoying the day and getting things done. I pulled together this outfit to do just that, so I left my hair up and took the day with just an SPF moisturizer.
The goal for the day’s outfit was comfy, cute, and chill. Even though this particular holiday marks the start of the summer fashion season, it was abnormally chilly and called for something cozy as well.
The result? My absolute favorite track suit combo from Adidas! It’s an old one, but I love bringing back evergreen (in this case blue!) looks, especially when they’re perfect for the vibe I’m going for. Check out their latest track suits here if you’re looking for this vibe.
Although primarily a polyester blend on the outside with the signature Adidas logo and stripes in white, it features a soft fleece lining that made it perfect for the chilly weather. The best part is that it’s matching set with crop top and hooded jacket so that no matter which way the weather swung, I was prepared.
I absolutely love the color because it aligned perfectly with the mood I was going for – chill and relaxing. Psychologically, the color blue invokes those moods in us and it successfully did so today. It also helped that it matched perfectly with the Memorial Day theme of our American Flag!
But to fully tie in the beautiful red of our flag’s colors, I paired this look with my Tommy Hilfiger Bucket Bag that aligned perfectly with this sporty fit. I’m obsessed with this bag because it’s not quite a backpack and not a polished purse either, so it’s perfect for that in-between look for days like these. It features a beautiful leather strap that is comfortable to hold in my hand or on my arm. If you’re looking for functionality, it even comes with a longer leather strap inside. I keep it in the bag at all times just in case I ever need it! There’s definitely enough space for the strap and so much more given its size. It’s great for someone like me who always carries a ton of stuff but still wants the cute look, so I very much appreciate the two pockets inside along with the one on the front (perfect for my keys!) to keep everything organized. The gold emblem on the corner is just enough to give this casual look a little bit of flare without overpowering the comfort look and pairs really well with my everyday gold and diamond jewelry.
I’m a stickler for matching, so of course I closed out the look with my white and gold Guess sneaker wedges. More often than not, you will find me in heels because I have an incredibly high arch, so flat shoes can actually be painful after a while, and because I love the grace that comes in my posture with a heel! That’s why I love these because they give me the sneaker look and comfort that I want, with the added bonus of the posture I’m looking for with a heel. Guess currently has two beautiful options similar to mine and they’re on sale!
Life is and always will be unpredictable, sometimes it catches us completely off guard, and that’s okay. That’s life. What’s important to remember is that every time life throws a curve in your path (sometimes a complete cyclone, but that’s relative), it’s testing you and pushing you to either grow in the way you haven’t been able to on your own or learn a lesson you didn’t know you needed to learn. For some, those lessons or growth moments are one and done life-changing moments, and for others, the lessons are persistent. I’d like to think that those who receive that latter do so because they’re meant to do more, be more, and tasked to bring real change to the world. Either way, these moments come to help us, and we have to remember that and work our way through them rather than let them overcome us completely.
Sometimes the curve ball or cyclone come in the form of life getting overwhelming – everything happening at once, like a burnout – which is sometimes caused by ourselves and sometimes by the world around us. When that happens, the key is to acknowledge that it’s okay to take time for you to work through the moment. But it’s also important not to remain hidden from the world. It’s important to find yourself again, redefine yourself, and push forward. It’s most definitely easier said than done, but there are some methods you can use to get through.
1. Get back to your basics
Each individual is raised with a certain set of principles, morals, or general perspectives on how life should be lived and why. For some those may be religiously founded while for others those may be culturally founded. Either way, each of us has a core perspective of the world that grounds us, whether we’re aware of it or not.
For example, when I reached one life changing moment, I lost everything that I had in the world, which left me literally with nothing. At that point of my life’s rock bottom, I was forced to realize that those things and people were not what defined my existence because I was still there, still alive, and so something else had to remain within me for that to be the case. It was then that I realized that my foundation was my philosophical perspective and my set of beliefs & principles that stemmed from it. By exploring these aspects, I became aware that they grounded me. By remembering what I believed life to be, what it was worth, what my purpose was in it, and what aspects were the most important to me, I was grounded in those notions and able to rebuild.
So the question is, what are your basics? Take a blank sheet of paper and answer the following:
- What do you believe life is and what it is for?
- What do you believe about yourself and your best qualities? (not what other people tell you or have made you believe)
- What do you think your purpose is in life and why?
- If you don’t know your purpose, then think about what in this world calls you to action? This is not about what job you do or your career path – it’s about what piques your interest and makes you want to learn, explore, and do more in this world.
- What are your principles? Meaning, identify what guides you when making decisions.
- What are you grateful for? These don’t have to be things or people, but anything that makes you feel gratitude.
2. Reprioritize your life
You had a certain set of priorities before everything crumbled on itself in that glorious or disastrous life moment. Now that you have a moment to reset your life, and you’ve identified what grounds you, you have a chance to reset those priorities as well. The things that worked for you and were ever so important before that moment were great until then. Now they may not be what you need to focus on or give yourself to – especially if they don’t align with who you are, who you want to be, or how you want your life to be.
From experience, there came a point when I had prioritized my career that was supposed to be a life-long path, the “life moments” that society had defined for me – grades, job promotions, marriage, children, etc. – that were supposed to be of utmost importance, my “family” by blood irrespective of their treatment of me and mine, and vanity in its truest sense because I was told and made to believe I was not attractive and had much work to do in that department. Those priorities were CLEARLY misplaced. When I hit my reset moment and took the time to reevaluate, I realized that my priorities had changed significantly and I aligned with my new priorities so much more. These new priorities were also much simpler (as your priorities should be). My new priorities were to be transparently me, take care of myself and my people, maintain a circle of respect and trust (everyone else got the boot), spend time with those that I love, and do things that I love. These priorities have made it so easy for me to decide if something in my life deserves my time and emotions. If it doesn’t, then it is removed immediately without a second thought or remorse.
As you think through your priorities, ask yourself:
- Does it align with who I am or want to be?
- Is it adding or detracting from my life?
- Is it leading me to my dream life or distracting from it?
- Does it make me happy?
3. Make space for happiness
At any drastic moment in life, you will notice that your mind immediately reverts first to the despair at hand, and then to the moments that made you happy and the desire to do more of those things. A perfect example of this is when you ask anyone who is past the age of retirement or who is terminally ill what they regret not doing in life, and they normally tell you that they regret not pursuing their dreams or the things that truly made them happy. It is sad that we only realize this at the end of our lives, and so I implore those who recognize these special “reset moments” in life to really feel through the things you are doing in life and recognize what makes you genuinely happy. Identify those things, activities, or people, and consciously make space for them in your life.
When we engage in things that make us happy, we experience an indescribable fullness that carries into other aspects of our lives. The more you engage in these happy-inducing things, the more you will experience bliss that only comes with living a life full of such deep joy.
Since my burnout and reset years ago, I catch myself smiling stupidly at least once a day at the pure joy of living a life I love. There are always things that make the day tough and there are still things I need to change further, but even with the normal life hiccups, I find time to engage in the things that make me happy and that always results in a burst of pure love for being alive.
Tips for making space for your happy things:
- The Sheen 15. We have the ability to sustain focus for about 20 minutes according to research by Dianne Dukette and David Cornish (2009). That means we should work on any item for that period of time and then take a break, switch to something else, and then return to that task or move to another. Even a break of 15 minutes, gives the mind the breath it needs to refocus. Once you’ve identified your happy things, figure out what items/hobbies can fit into a 15 minute window. Now look at your daily schedule and slot 15 minute breaks throughout the day and mark each for a different happy thing. For example, I absolutely love learning new languages, so I take 15 minutes every day to practice a language through Duolingo.
- Setting self-care expectations with others. Boundaries are key to ensuring that you are able to keep the time you’ve set aside for what makes you happy. You must set the expectation with others that your self-care time is important for you to be able to give the best version of yourself during your non-self-care time. This time is for you to clear your head, uplift your mood, and get back in the game stronger than before.
These are just a few ways to bring yourself back, but honestly the key is to exercise introspection. So use these methods or introspect on what makes you the best you and work that more into your life.
The thundering wave
Tries to overcome all the same
Each thrust hits different
But hits hard in this game
There comes a moment
When all you can do
Is let it hit as it will
But not engulf you
The tide will settle
You will emerge
That sparkle hits different
When you’ve survived a surge
– Akiti –
As an Indian residing in the United States, it’s hard to truly know the extent of your ancestral country’s hardships…that is until you are caught in the middle of one. The COVID-19 pandemic had struck the world hard in 2020, leaving most to hope 2021 would be better. Well, we’re in April of 2021, and India is in absolute despair due to a sudden outburst of the virus that is running rampant throughout the country and breaking all pandemic records till date. Innocently, I was traveling to India for urgent reasons and to spend time with my grandparents & family, knowing the pandemic could take anyone we loved without discrimination at any time. Having taken all necessary precautions advised – negative tests before traveling & on arrival, masks on masks for protection, and various hand sanitizers and disinfectants always handy – it seemed the trip would go as expected. My trip began and everything was seemingly going as planned, when suddenly reports came rushing through that India was seeing record increases in COVID cases and the High Court sent notices to all states imploring them to take significant actions to control the aggressively worsening situation.
Stranded in the Middle of a Biological Conquest
At the time I was heading to Delhi, my usual residence because my grandparents and most of my family resides in and surrounding the Capitol, when we were informed that the city was implementing strict curfews and considering a full lockdown. With optimism, I continued my journey to Delhi in hopes that the curfew would be manageable and the condition would improve as it had in 2020. Needless to say, that is not how things progressed. Within days the situation worsened, forcing the capital of Delhi and the states of Uttar Pradesh (UP), Maharashtra, Madhya Pradesh (MP), and Karnataka were entering full lockdowns for the rest of the month until they could reassess the situation. If that wasn’t terrifying enough for someone in the middle of interstate transit, we received word that my grandmother, my Nani, was down with COVID along with a few other family members. As per the pandemic restrictions, my destination was now inaccessible because we could not enter Delhi and my reason for coming was postponed because my Nani’s house and all individuals living there would get locked down until officials determined it was clear of the virus. So as I sat in my Haryana hotel, I realized that I was potentially stranded in a country rampant with the pandemic.
…I had to get home without stopping, all the while observing the India I love react to its present conqueror.
They say that trauma survivors live in survival mode and that it’s not a way to live, yet what kicks in during a time like this are those exact survival instincts. What people deem as paranoia or overly-cautious become necessary perspectives and precautions in order to make it through such a situation. In the middle of a pandemic, in a country where women are not safe in normal scenarios such as on the highways (definitely not at night), and in a situation where lockdowns mean increased poverty for those who can’t run their businesses and resort to thievery, survival instincts come in the form of do-what-you-need-to-in-order-to-survive-worry-about-everything-else-later. I was already considering a break from the world because of almost-burnout from my work life (first world issues of course), but the situation made the choice that much clearer – I needed to step away from the world and focus on making it through physically and mentally however I needed to. Rather than enjoy my transit by reading my e-books or listening to music, I managed my battery-life purely for GPS and emergency purposes for the lengthy drive I had to get home without stopping, all the while observing the India I love react to its present conqueror.
As I travelled through the country, I took away two things: 1) India is unrecognizable when its people are nowhere to be seen and falling apart and 2) somehow people retain their humanity and are still able to enjoy life in the midst of it all.
The India I Cannot Recognize
Since the onset of the pandemic, many countries have imposed “lockdowns”, but not all have been quite as strict in their rules around these lockdowns as others. India is an interesting case because it falls within both perspectives on lockdown methods. There are states which imposed the lockdown and enforce it with armed guards, fines, and police brutality (the brutality varying depending on your state and what lockdown rule you broke). Then there are states that are more worried about the stereotypical perspective of “log kya kehenge” (translation: what will people say) that they are hiding the true impact of the pandemic on the state in question by not reporting the true number of cases and deaths, and leave the lockdown/curfew enforcements up to each municipality. The latter method almost always resulting in many villages and smaller towns closing some institutions but not all, not actively enforcing masks, and definitely not restricting large gatherings in marketplaces during non-curfew times.
What’s worse is that these states and their people would like to abide by the procedures and guidelines, but not all can. Those villages and smaller towns are actually grateful that they are not being forced to follow lockdown rules because they can’t afford it. If they did, the people would not necessarily survive irrespective of the virus. The farmer who is already run down by the months of aggravated agricultural regulation upheavals from the current administration must continue to work on the farm to keep one’s family alive with the food from the fields and the money it brings in by bringing the goods to the big cities and selling them in open markets. Not continuing their work would result in more harm to more people and they need the exceptions or leeway their state allows.
It almost feels like the scene in Sholay just before Gabbar makes his entry to attack the village; the calm before the proverbial storm.
Sholay is considered among the best Hindi films of all time – Hindustan Times
At the same time, if you were to enter an area fully enforcing the lockdown or during the strict curfew hours, it’s as though the world as we know it has disappeared. The streets are empty, besides a bull, cow, or dog casually roaming the seemingly abandoned vicinity. The store fronts are locked shut and all the lights are out. The wind blows the dust around the streets uninterrupted, not a being for miles at a stretch, and you can see the heat of an Indian summer reflecting off the highway with barely a vehicle in sight. It’s as though the human race has disappeared altogether. It almost feels like the scene in Sholay just before Gabbar makes his entry to attack the village; the calm before the proverbial storm (See the epic Bollywood movie to understand the reference).
The only places where things get lively as they never did before are at the highway toll booths where delivery trucks are showing their lockdown exception passes, waiting for interstate transit approval, and around medical facilities. Pre-pandemic, these facilities only ever had a security guard or two to perform the usual checks before entry – standard vehicle and bag scans. Now in the face of a pandemic on steroids, the larger facilities have police support and the surrounding streets of major cities have armored vehicles because the facilities are getting out of hand. It’s one thing to hear of the impacts of the virus on one’s community in a place you remember so beautifully, and entirely another to experience its devastation first hand.
Indians Always Remember the Importance of Life
Even as the pandemic rears its very ugly head, the worst of situations still has the country buzzing with communal support and moments of pure joy. I have travelled to various countries, and nowhere have I seen people come together for humanity, try to survive together, while still finding time to truly enjoy happy moments, as they have here.
As the cases in India rise, the community response has simultaneously increased domestically and internationally. Every news channel, media outlet, and individual social media presence is actively sharing the latest status and resources. The resources ranging from domestic information on where oxygen tanks have become available to international sponsorship & donations to send more supplies. It is amazing to see how the global South Asian community has banded together in one nation’s time of need to send not only money & medical devices, but also advocate and lobby their respective governments to stand with humanity and support India however they can.
The South Asian diaspora is known to be full of diverse traditions and colorful celebrations across regions, languages, and religious beliefs, and in this country that represents so many of the aforementioned, the brilliance of the cultures remains vibrant even during such a dreadful time. Although the Indian government could do a MUCH better job of providing strict guidelines around how to celebrate key traditions and religious/sporting/personal events to contain the spread of the virus, the Indian people are finding ways to still celebrate the happy moments amongst the madness. From the safety and comfort of my hotel room, I can hear nearby homes and people rumbling with pure exaltation when their favorite team excels in the Cricket IPL, or the grace and joy of coming together with the family they still have for iftaar, or even gleefully enjoying the time they finally have with the people they love while watching their sitcoms and latest Bollywood movies. Many are gratefully following protocol with their masks and social distancing, while others have rested their full faith on their religions in choosing to assemble within protocols, knowing full well that they are taking a risk, all in the belief that these moments with their loved ones – for what could be the last time – is worth it. Either way, in the midst of the traumatic state of the country, there is some joy and it is beautiful to witness.
What Needs to Be Done & How You Can Help
As the news in India rages on about the pending government elections (the least of priorities from a humanitarian standpoint), followed by the rampage of immoral folks blasphemously stealing and selling oxygen machines & necessary medicine on the black market, Indians are faced with the pandemic survival dilemma: stay in and follow lockdown/curfew procedures or risk losing the people you love because you need to earn an income or need to get them medical support to survive any way you can. The result is that people are communicating almost by the minute that someone they love or know has passed away either from the virus or because of a separate, easily treatable medical issue that didn’t get the attention it normally would have. The medical infrastructure of a country inhabited by 1.4 billion people has been brutally exposed to the point that hotels and private institutions have been mandated by the government to act as hospital extensions to house more patients and medical services, and the nation must rely on allies to send support.
We’re losing people not just to the virus itself but also to the lack of services and medical equipment. India needs help and it needs it now. Here’s what you can do today:
If you’re in India
FACE THE FACTS & CHANGE THE COURSE
India has reached this point because many things failed – the government’s leadership, the medical infrastructure, and everyone’s common sense during a pandemic with regard to the importance of precautionary & proactive measures. It is time that each individual realize that their individual choices to forego the pandemic protocol can affect the nation.
- Follow lockdown protocol. For starters, please take this straightforward approach. The protocols are put in place to protect you AND the people around you. If you are able to, stay home.
- Take ALL precautions. If you need to leave your home for whatever reason, wear a mask, wash your hands as directed, and sanitize frequently. If you have been to a location where you were at risk, quarantine yourself for the next 14 days to ensure you don’t contribute to spreading the virus. DO NOT STOP doing taking these precautions because you have received a vaccine or because you think the location is sanitary. Even the experts don’t understand the virus and it’s variants enough to take such risks. Stay cautious.
- Share resources. If you have information about local resources that can help someone, share it as far and wide as you can. You don’t know who needs it, and many do. Use your networks and platforms to share the information you have or have come across to spread it further. (see the list of resources below to get started)
If you’re outside of India
YOU CAN STILL HELP & YOU SHOULD
The world has enjoyed the knowledge and culture of India for eons and it is time to save that very same part of the world everyone has enjoyed for their own benefits.
- Support/Donate. There are many Indian or South Asian organizations that are pooling funds to purchase medical equipment to send to India and to support families that do not have the funds to survive. Use the resources outlined below to guide you to the option that works best for you.
- Advocate. Reach out to your elected officials and request their support for India. Your voice has an impact and can make a difference.
Resources
- Mutual Aid India Live Support Document (best on a desktop): This is an actively updated document providing open support opportunities across India. Use the menu on the left to navigate different opportunities to lend a hand.
- India COVID-19 Relief Dashboard: IT specialists across India created this dashboard to locate live resources through social media. Search or select your city and click the resource you’re looking for to see the latest tweets for details (see examples below).
- GiveIndia COVID-19 Missions: GiveIndia is India’s largest crowd-funding platform that verifies the transparency and credibility of their fundraisers. They have a large relief fund for broad-spectrum support and outline specific missions you can select to support and donate towards.
- India COVID Response Fund-2: GiveIndia launched India COVID Response Fund-1 in April 2020 raising ₹220+Cr from individuals, foundations & corporations. With the second deadly wave now upon us, they have launched ICRF-2 to support gaps in healthcare and other critical needs.
- Give oxygen to critical patients
- Feed families financially impacted by COVID
- Give cash relief to families of the deceased
- Help COVID patients get medical care
- Provide sanitary napkin kits to women unable to have safe periods in the pandemic
- Additional COVID Resources
Dum hai is mitti mein
Jo humare ragon mein dhodta hai
Toh kaisa toofan hai yeh
Jo dum ko thodne pe tula hai
Inteha hai is yug ki
Mat jhuko mere yaar
Waqt hai saath mein ladne ka
Mil ke hi jeetenge is baar
Translation (adjusted for meaning):
There is strength in this earth
That runs through our veins
So what kind of storm is this
Hell bent on breaking this strength
This is a test of this era
So don’t bow down just yet friend
It’s time to fight together
For together is the only way to win
– Akiti –
