Not everyone has the ability to celebrate these holidays in the way that nuclear families do. In the age of modern families, we have parent-less families, blended families, and family-less individuals, we must be mindful that these groups view this day very differently.
It is time we make the shift away from the model of the nuclear family and fully embrace the beauty of modern families and how they celebrate each other. If we do not, we continue to make the mistake of forcing the importance of having a mother or father in one’s life, or making the loss of either further apparent. This is not to say that those who do have parents should feel bad about celebrating theirs, but they should not expect the same of people who may have different parental figures or be estranged from theirs.
Imagine trying to push someone estranged from their father, when that child has grown up in a world where their father figure has been abusing them and their family. You cannot expect a child to respect that father, and you have no right to. A mother is often deemed as the one individual a child should always be able to go to or have in their life, but there are many children who have abusive mothers who constantly gaslight them or push them to be something they are not. That mother, in the eyes of the child, may not deserve that respect any longer, and that is for that child to decide. Not you.
So on this Father’s Day I implore you to celebrate in the way that works for your definition of a family, and to never impose your definition on another.
A Family is a group of people
That support you in every way
That love you for you alone
Not expecting you any other way
If your Family doesn’t look
Like the typical view of Family
That’s okay, and that’s right
Accept your version gladly
Do not push others
To have a Family like yours
Or judge how one’s Family operates
It is not your place to impose
Because a Family is just a crew
Even if it’s the one you choose
With people who respect you
And who celebrate your every move
– Akiti –